captivesofhope

Finding renewal and hope


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Palm Trees Don’t Grow Here

 

         Would you find it strange to see a palm tree planted firmly in your front yard in the middle of winter? Of course you would. You would wonder how is it possible that a palm tree has survived in a climate that has such harsh winters. You would necessarily have to delve deeply into the situation.

Some people are like palm trees. They kind of fit in, but then again, something is different. Palm trees are very sensitive people who require lots of love and nourishment to grow, much like the palm tree requires consistent sun. God created them this way. Why then do palm trees, or sensitive people,  have to experience the same hardships as others? It kind of seems unfair. Palm trees are much more sensitive to cold temperatures than other trees. Sensitive people may be affected by negative circumstances more easily than others.  It doesn’t seem fair to plant them in a wintry world, and yet God does just this. Why? God does this as a testimony to His ability to make anyone live. He can be heat. He can be rain. The more we need, the more He is.  If you need more sun to live, Jesus has it. Not only can God make a palm tree grow in the winter, He can make the most rejected, the most broken person to flourish and to grow in an adverse environment. When nothing else is moving and the world is frozen over, that palm tree will stand strong and healthy as a sign that God is able.


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Trash Bag

I dug in the trash last night. I took out 3 jars that previously contained Prego Spaghetti Sauce. I rinsed the jars and proceeded downstairs with them, clutching them to me as if they were priceless treasures. When my husband saw me, he asked what I was doing. I explained that these jars were recyclable and hurried to place them in the bin. I knew the usefulness of the jars though others may not have. I knew that they could be used again by someone who knows what to do.

I got to thinking about those jars and wondered; is it that I have thrown little treasures in the trash because they now lack usefulness? Once an item no longer works or is “used up”, we rush to dispose of it. I believe that I have a large trash bag thrown over my shoulder with the intention of taking it to the local dump. What’s inside? Things that used to work, but are now broken and beyond repair. The thing is; Jesus sees my trash bag. He especially sees that fragile thing that I secretly shoved onto the very bottom. I’m caught. But, what if I give that bag to Jesus? What if it’s really not trash at all? Can he fix what no one else can? Of course He can. So give Jesus your trash bag. He’ll know what to do. Recycling is His specialty.


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Selflessness

 

“Why are you doing this” was probably a question Nehemiah heard often. After all, he left his comfortable place beside the king to willingly enter the front line in a war for restoration. Nehemiah heard about the condition of his people and immediately developed a burden for them. He fasted and prayed about the situation and felt compelled to make a difference. Why didn’t he reason to himself that if the thousands of Israelites already there couldn’t do it, why should he bother? After all, he was only one person. Besides, he was comfortable. What if the king got angry at his request? Then his life would be ruined and all because he dreamed too big. Nehemiah didn’t seem to think any of these thoughts. He prayed and then sprang into action. I think the key to Nehemiah’s success was his selflessness. He had no stake in the project. He lived in a palace in safety. He was not gaining anything from the building of the wall. Even so, he risked his life, his relationship with the king, and his own comfort.

Thinking like Nehemiah’s seems to be a little scarce in society today. We get something out of everything we do. Company’s hire certain kinds of people because they get tax breaks. People make large public donations and they end up on the cover of a magazine. Businesses give away money to a few contest winners in exchange for private contact information on thousands of others who entered the contest but will never win. Society today does not seem to advocate selflessness. People are even shocked and maybe a little frightened when someone does something for seemingly no reason.

I want to be a Christian like Nehemiah was. I want to have a burden that would cause me to abandon the comforts of my own life and to do something that gains nothing for me. I want to be so moved by someone else’s need that it causes me to spring into action. I want to show Jesus to somebody through my life. “We then who are strong ought to bear with the scruples of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, leading to edification” (Acts 15: 1,2 NKJV)


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Life Is Like… A Cup Of Tea

Life is like a cup of tea. It can burn you, but it tastes so good.  I don’t believe in reading tea leaves, but some hot tea just taught me a valuable lesson after I spilled it all over myself. I did something dumb that resulted in my hand and leg being burned. Yes, I yelled “OW!!!!!” I cleaned up the tea, then I ran cold water on my wounds. Do you know what I did next? I got another cup of tea. I sat down in the same spot at the same table and drank hot tea. Then, a thought occurred to me. Why didn’t I say to myself, “I’m not drinking anymore tea? I might spill it again. It could be worse next time. I don’t want to experience that pain ever again”? If I quickly got another cup of tea after being painfully burned, why do I avoid other activities after I get wounded from doing them? I have actually denied myself the pleasure of doing what I like to do because of wounds I have sustained. I have actually said to myself after a negative experience, “Well, I’m done with that”, or “I won’t try that again”. Why did I say that? If I can risk burning my leg, I can risk getting my feelings hurt or my heart broken right? On the whole, what is the real difference between life and tea? Nothing!!!! Have another cup. Don’t mind if I do.


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Bus Ride

I still remember the day when the reality of God’s love finally sank into me. I changed that day. I was on a bus on the way home. The ride was extra long because I missed the other bus. During that long ride, God spoke to me about His love. I just suddenly understood. It was as if liquid healing flooded my heart. I felt myself accept the fullness of His compassion for me. I realized that no matter what, God would always love me. I could not do anything to make Him stop. That day, I let His love drown out every fear and every doubt. I let Him hold me completely. God’s love can heal what nothing else can. God is so personal with me. He knows me yesterday. He knows me today. He knows what I’m thinking and why I’m thinking it. There was a lot of pain and abuse that led me to be the way I was when God found me, but would you believe that I now thank God for that pain? I thank Him for those struggles because now I know Him. Not only that, I have a testimony. I constantly think about who I used to be and who I am today. I still need a lot of work, but I’ve come further than I thought I could. It took God about 7 years to get me to the point where I could say that I was sane and emotionally healthy. During that journey to wholeness, I really came to know God. I learned that He can be trusted. He loves unconditionally. Thank God, He’s not through though. I believe the best is yet to come. I have a destiny in Him that He decided before the world was.

Dear Jesus,

Thank You for loving me the way You do. There is nothing better than You. You are the reason that I live. I can’t live one moment without You and I don’t want to try.

Amen


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Glorious Misery

In the Spirit, I saw a sheet descending from Heaven. When it reached me, it wrapped itself around me and pulled me up to His throne and set me in His arms. There, I was immersed in a pool of the purest love. It was poured on me like fresh water from a well. Jesus began to share His heart with me. The only words I can use to describe it are; sweet pain and glorious misery. I saw the faces of people who have turned away from God. I felt God’s grief over His lost friends. I felt Him yearning for them to come back. I felt such love, compassion, and mercy for them. My heart ached. It was astounding to feel such peace and grief at the same time. I was so deep into Him, I never wanted to leave. I wanted to stay and let Him love me like that forever, but I knew I had to come back because I want to help Jesus get His friends back. I don’t want to go to Heaven alone. I have to go take someone with me. I want the ones that nobody wants. I want the useless, the unloved, the lost, the broken, the dying, the rejected and abandoned. I want them. If that is you, please let me hear from you. I want you to go to Heaven with me.

Dear Jesus,

Lead me to the ones nobody wants. Let me be an overflow of Your compassion for the rejected souls. Help me not to shrink back as I go the hottest flames to get Your people. Make my life a beacon of hope so that anyone can find You if they so desire. Use my hands and my feet. Though my hands are rough, give them a gentle touch. Though my feet are tired, energize them with the gospel of peace.

Amen


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Driver Error

Driver error refers to the driver in the car making a mistake that leads to negative consequences. This was the diagnosis for my car that would not start on Friday. The fact that the car did not start allowed me to minster to a wonderful person about the goodness of God. My car stayed at McDonald’s overnight. When the mechanic looked at the car the next day, he stated that the problem was due to driver error. The car started right up when he switched the gears.  He said that I turned the car off without putting it fully in park. I could believe that, but the only problem is that the One who was driving does not make mistakes. Jesus had the wheel that day. I had been in earnest prayer all day. I even sat in another parking lot seeking God about this blog. I know that God was in control. The fact that my car started right up the next day tells me that God just wanted to use me. I am so privileged and overwhelmed that God would trust me to not panic in a situation like that. I was alone with my one year old in a place I had never been to before and the car would not start. I thank God for trusting me and allowing me to trust Him. So, I say that if you let Jesus drive, there is no such thing as driver error.


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Fragrance of Praise

When you lay at the feet of Jesus to pour yourself out, the fragrance from that worship lingers on you and on Jesus. When the woman poured her oil from the alabaster box onto Jesus’ feet and wiped His feet with her hair, she anointed Jesus, but she also anointed herself. Surely the scent of that moment remained in her hair and on her hands long after she arose to leave. Others probably smelled that expensive sacrifice on both her and on Jesus. Those people knew that she and Jesus smelled the same. Tufts of that sweet aroma floated on the breeze as her locks of dedication lifted with its blowing. The scent traveled and touched others even without her knowledge. They experienced the vestiges of a heart broken onto Jesus like the alabaster box. When we pour the ointment of sacrifice and praise upon Him, it causes us to draw others because we smell like Jesus. God then positions us to cross paths with precious souls that He wants to draw in.

Yesterday, I was sitting in a parking lot eating. Once I finished, I tried to start the car and nothing happened. I could have panicked, but I didn’t because my life is on the altar. I waited for a moment and a young lady came over and offered her assistance. She let me use her phone and she drove me home. On the way home, we both realized that God had set us up. I got to give my testimony to a lovely stranger. Perhaps God wanted her to smell my hair.


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Precious Pain

When I gave my life to God, everything fell apart. My marriage collapsed, I dropped out of school though I had a full scholarship, I had a nervous breakdown and depression tried to ruin my life. I can assure you that I was not having fun during this time, but what I was doing was growing. I was learning to trust God with everything. Some days I thought the pain would kill me, but God commanded even my lungs to breathe because I lacked the strength. I found a place in God where pain ceased to exist. At times, I almost thought the world was gone because I was so deep into Him. During worship times at church, I got so lost in His presence, so lost in fact that I had someone ask me, “where do you go during worship?” I didn’t know what it was called then. Now I refer to it as the secret place. The devil couldn’t find me there. Fear couldn’t find me there. Failure and depression couldn’t find me there. I was covered by the shadow of His wings.

And now, when God uses me, there is a foundation underneath me. I have fought and won in Jesus’ name. I have a platform of experience to speak from. God has repaired my marriage. As a matter of fact, as I stood at the altar weeping about God’s will for this blog, my husband came over, put his arms around me and began to wipe my tears away. It was so worth the struggle so that I can watch God dust off the diamond I married. I also have a Bachelor’s degree having graduated with a 4.0 average. I am months away from a Master’s degree also with a 4.0 average. My mind is stable (though some might debate this J). I found Him who has promised to be faithful.

Can I invite you to remember something God has promised you? Write it down so that when He does it, you will have a record. Also, write down the promises that God has already fulfilled. This is your proof of His faithfulness. It is not that we want to doubt, we just forget to believe. So remember Jesus today. Meditate on His words to you. Believe them. I am a witness to His ability to bring every word to pass. Hebrews 10: 35-38 declares, “For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised. For, Yet a little while, and the coming one will come and will not delay; but my righteous one shall live by faith…” (English Standard Version)


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Winter Spring

Today, it is 70 degrees outside. It is like a spring day in February. The  warmth is pushing its way into every crevice of my soul. I feel as if every time I inhale, I am breathing in bursts of joy. I feel Jesus. He created Spring to remind us of the hope that rests in Him. Wintertime is cruel and harsh. It sends birds away and puts animals to sleep. It makes us put on layers to protect ourselves from its ravishing cold. The seasons represent life. There are times when an ice storm attacks our hearts. It freezes our insides and makes us put on layers called walls. We protect ourselves from the cold or the hurt. But Jesus is warmth. When we let Him, the heat of His love reaches down and melts the cold and the hardness. He turns our ice into oil as it flows into a pool of worship and anointing. The bitterness that held us captive becomes a sea of love that touches those who are sleeping. It makes the birds fly to us again. Flowers bloom and grass grows tall. Others are reborn like morning glories.

Dear Jesus,

Melt the ice in my soul. Let it turn into praise and adoration. Warm me with Your love. Repair the bridges that I have dismantled with my own hands due to fear. Repair the separation caused by misunderstandings. Let my life be a testimony of Your ability to give life again and again. You save us from sin and you save us from ourselves. Work Your perfect will in me.

Amen