captivesofhope

Finding renewal and hope

Tag Archives: God


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Roller Coaster

I was six months pregnant and my husband was hospitalized because of his heart. I stayed at the hospital as long as I could, but I had to go home because my body was so weak and I was in constant pain. I got home late and parked in a random  space. When I woke up the next morning, my car had been towed. At this moment, I broke. Yes, I lost it. I began to weep and wonder why was this happening and how was I supposed to handle it in my condition? I didn’t even have the money or the transportation to get my car back. Just then, my sister called me on the phone. When she heard the state I was in, she knew I needed help. It was not like me to fall apart, but at that moment, I had. My sister came and prayed for me until I came to my right mind again. I was able to calm down and restore my trust in God and let Him carry me through. He did. I got my car back and my husband was eventually released from the hospital. Now, it seems like this happened to someone else. My husband is as spry as ever. My son is now 18 months old and knows nothing of the struggles that went on while he grew in my womb.

Looking closely at the lives of my friends, my family, and my own life, I see a common theme; struggle and victory, struggle and victory. I watch others endure intense situations that seem to have no answer. Then I watch God show His power. I have sat up late at night into the AM praying with people or having them pray for me. We prayed and groaned in the Spirit. We did not know what to do other than to seek Him. After God answered the prayer; however, we understood a new depth of His ability to truly do anything. We watched Him do the impossible right before our eyes. Situations like these often make people run from God. They become afraid and feel they cannot endure any longer, but in truth, they have not understood that moments like these are necessary so that God can do what we cannot do. When people get on a roller coaster, they know it’s going to be scary, but it will be fun too. Once you are on the roller coaster, you cannot jump off on the scary part because if you do, you will be injured or maybe even killed. I daresay that many people are mad at God because He did not help them, but the truth is that they jumped off on a dangerous part and were injured because they stopped believing. Their conclusion is that it is too hard to live for God. They didn’t wait around to see how He carries His children through the rough places of life. Inevitably, life has rough places for everyone. It is best to let God determine what the trials will be rather than to let life and the devil have their way. If God brings us to a trial, He will bring us through it. Yes, we may have some ugly moments where we fall apart and lose it, but at these times, God will pick us up and carry us to the finish line. The trial is not really about us anyway. It is about Him. It is about knowing Him in the power of His might and in the fellowship of His suffering. At the finish line is blessing and anointing. We have to grow through trial before we can rule and reign with Him. The reward far outweighs the struggle. Give Jesus another chance if you have given up. Just see what He will do. Ride the roller coaster to the end. No ride lasts forever.


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Taking the Bait

My husband has been really into fishing lately. He took his pole and his artificial bait and set up ready to catch fish. Unfortunately, his line got tangled and he was uncertain about how to proceed. It seems like us humans were meant to fish though we don’t all know quite how to go about it. We practice working with different types of bait and in different bodies of water. We want to attract those fish as best we can. I now understand that certain fish need a certain kind of bait. The fisher has to prepare beforehand if he is going to catch the right fish.

I realize that God created me to be a certain kind of bait. He formed me with the ministry in mind. He knew that I could reach certain people, but not others. I understand that there are some fish who will like me and who will take my bait, but others will not and may swim away in disgust that I had the audacity to even stick my line in the water. I think this can discourage at times. I do realize that there will always be people who misunderstand me or who simply dislike me because I am me. This can be difficult to deal with if you lose sight of the most important thing. The most important thing is God’s opinion. If I am casting my line the way He showed me and with the proper bait, I am okay.

Dear Jesus,

Help me not to lose sight of the goal when some people take me the wrong way or misunderstand my intentions. Help me to not to take it to heart when people snub or avoid me. Help me to fish anyway. Please give me a net full of fish. Let my life glorify You.

Amen


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God’s Paintbrush

Last night at revival, the preacher spoke about putting the paintbrush in God’s hand. He spoke about letting God make the strokes of our lives. After all, God is a master painter. He blends the most beautiful colors together. This is extremely evident this time of the year. No painter can create a sunset like God. No artist can quite duplicate God’s glorious arrangement of posies and daisies, butter cups and sunflowers. God really is amazing. If He can make a flower that blows away and grows again, I know He can make my life into a masterpiece even though it started out as a mess. He can take any picture that we have marred with our intentions and our ideas and make it into a piece that reflects His beauty. A piece that declares He is real. I am happy to give Him the paintbrush because I don’t know how to paint anyway.


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A Safe Place

Early this morning, I heard the rumbling of a thunderstorm just outside my window. Strangely, the lightning and the thunder did not frighten me. Instead, it comforted me. After exhaling a peaceful sigh, I fell asleep again. I know that a storm can be dangerous and even deadly, but when you admire it from a safe place, it is a thing of beauty. It can create an amazing sense of peace.

The Bible describes God as a hiding place, a pavilion, a strong tower, a shield. When we rest in God and let storms roll by, as they inevitably will, we will be at peace. We have no cause to fear because we are safe. We can even sleep on and let the sound of tapping rain rock us deeper. In the safe place, we come to know God. We learn that we can trust Him. As we lay our head on His bosom, we can hear His heartbeat and we know that it beats for us. We even come to appreciate the storm knowing that its force cannot destroy anything that is hidden in Him. Furthermore, the rain from the storm causes life to flourish. The ground gives birth to a sea of flowers after it has bathed in God’s showers.

Dear Jesus,

When my heart is broken, I place it in your hands. Heal me, O God and I shall be healed. Hold me in the safety of Your love that I will not fear when life thunders against me. Let the lightning flashes succeed only in illuminating Your love for me. Help me not to worry over things that might be destroyed since the whole world is in Your power. Nothing can move unless You give it the power to do so. Nothing can conquer me except my own fearful heart Nothing can overwhelm me if I surrender to Your design for my life. Underneath the covering of Your garment, I safely rest. Wrap me in a healing cocoon and change me into another Destiny.

Amen


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Testimony

The scripture on my heart today is, “Let the redeemed of the LORD say so, whom he hath redeemed from the hand of the enemy” (Psalm 107:2). This  scripture is referring to giving your testimony about how God has brought you out of darkness and into the light. How He has made You whole when you were broken. How He has fixed your marriage, healed your sicknesses, provided for you when you had no answers. I have probably worn my testimony out, but I am still so grateful for what God has done. I do not know where I would be without Him. I want somebody to know how good God is. I was so very lost when He saved me. The enemy had set up camp in my life and had no intention of leaving. But Jesus purchased the rights to my soul over 2000 years ago. I traded my sorrow and sickness for God’s healing and joy. God is amazing because you can have as much of Him as you want while giving away as much as you want. Neither portion is diminished. In actuality, the more of Him you have, the more you are compelled to give Him away.

People overcome, the Bible says, by giving their testimonies. I think this is because telling someone else what God has done establishes it in your heart. It also strengthens the listener’s faith. When we remember what God has done, it helps us believe that He will help us with new tests that arise. For instance, I need a financial miracle. I need to remember the time I was in a financial situation and God blessed me. You see, I made a poor decision and it had expensive results. I owed over $4,000. I did not know what do other than to pray. I did and the Lord showed me the scripture about Daniel in the lion’s den. God told me that He was not going to let the lions devour me. The difference between me and Daniel was that Daniel was innocent. I kind of caused my own problem. Nevertheless, God came through. I called agency that I owed to see if some type of arrangement could be made. The lady searched and searched the computer, but there was no record of the debt. God had simply erased $4,000 worth of debt. Now, I did not doubt God, but I figured that if God had really done this, I could call a second time and get the same answer. I did and this person could not find the debt either. God really came through and even though I kind of caused the situation by my poor decision. God could have let me reap the consequences, but He chose to cover it in mercy. I am so glad that God loves me better than I love myself. What has God done for you? Write me and let me know. I would love to read it. I will praise Him with you.


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Giving Up

“True freedom comes when we abandon the nest and pursue God.” That is the conclusion I came to when I read Joyce Meyer’s account of the eagle as it relates to spiritual experience. The story of the eagle has been used many times as a metaphor of our relationship with God. At the expense of sounding redundant, I had to write about Joyce Meyer’s account in her book Never Give up.

First of all, the book title says a lot. It is a true conqueror who refuses to surrender. I wondered to myself if I had given up on some things a little too quickly. Perhaps I had ceased to take possession of what was supposed to be mine. Nevertheless, I found myself reading this book and seeing into myself at the same time. I found that there is a level of existence that can belong to every Christian. Joyce Meyer described
it like this: Male eagles develop a certain sense of uneasiness around the age of 4. The eagle then leaves his nest in search of a mate. When he finds a suitable mate, he pursues her in a form of courtship. The female tests the male’s devotion through various tests. She drops different things from different heights and watches as the male eagerly dives after them. Last of all, the female dives herself. The male is so set on being with her that he locks talons with her and they fall together. The male does not consider his safety or the results of his actions. He is so determined to pursue his mate that he thinks of nothing else.

I wondered to myself; what would happen if I pursued God like the male eagle pursued his mate? What if I forgot to be afraid? What if I let go and just let God completely take over? Looking at the eagle again, he gained a life partner when he gave everything to get her. I want to pursue God like that. I don’t want to think about my ability to mess up even the simplest of tasks or about my foot-in-mouth syndrome (the sickness where you say one thing but it comes out as something completely different). There are times when I do let go completely, but there are also times when I stop the production of God. I yell “cut” when I am not even directing. I pause to catch my breath instead of pressing forward. I analyze and plan and come up with so many reasons why things can’t happen. So, as I theorize, analyze, synthesize, and strategize, God is probably watching me and yawning and wondering when I am just going to play my part and let Him worry about the rest of the film.


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Trash Bag

I dug in the trash last night. I took out 3 jars that previously contained Prego Spaghetti Sauce. I rinsed the jars and proceeded downstairs with them, clutching them to me as if they were priceless treasures. When my husband saw me, he asked what I was doing. I explained that these jars were recyclable and hurried to place them in the bin. I knew the usefulness of the jars though others may not have. I knew that they could be used again by someone who knows what to do.

I got to thinking about those jars and wondered; is it that I have thrown little treasures in the trash because they now lack usefulness? Once an item no longer works or is “used up”, we rush to dispose of it. I believe that I have a large trash bag thrown over my shoulder with the intention of taking it to the local dump. What’s inside? Things that used to work, but are now broken and beyond repair. The thing is; Jesus sees my trash bag. He especially sees that fragile thing that I secretly shoved onto the very bottom. I’m caught. But, what if I give that bag to Jesus? What if it’s really not trash at all? Can he fix what no one else can? Of course He can. So give Jesus your trash bag. He’ll know what to do. Recycling is His specialty.


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Selflessness

 

“Why are you doing this” was probably a question Nehemiah heard often. After all, he left his comfortable place beside the king to willingly enter the front line in a war for restoration. Nehemiah heard about the condition of his people and immediately developed a burden for them. He fasted and prayed about the situation and felt compelled to make a difference. Why didn’t he reason to himself that if the thousands of Israelites already there couldn’t do it, why should he bother? After all, he was only one person. Besides, he was comfortable. What if the king got angry at his request? Then his life would be ruined and all because he dreamed too big. Nehemiah didn’t seem to think any of these thoughts. He prayed and then sprang into action. I think the key to Nehemiah’s success was his selflessness. He had no stake in the project. He lived in a palace in safety. He was not gaining anything from the building of the wall. Even so, he risked his life, his relationship with the king, and his own comfort.

Thinking like Nehemiah’s seems to be a little scarce in society today. We get something out of everything we do. Company’s hire certain kinds of people because they get tax breaks. People make large public donations and they end up on the cover of a magazine. Businesses give away money to a few contest winners in exchange for private contact information on thousands of others who entered the contest but will never win. Society today does not seem to advocate selflessness. People are even shocked and maybe a little frightened when someone does something for seemingly no reason.

I want to be a Christian like Nehemiah was. I want to have a burden that would cause me to abandon the comforts of my own life and to do something that gains nothing for me. I want to be so moved by someone else’s need that it causes me to spring into action. I want to show Jesus to somebody through my life. “We then who are strong ought to bear with the scruples of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, leading to edification” (Acts 15: 1,2 NKJV)


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Life Is Like… A Cup Of Tea

Life is like a cup of tea. It can burn you, but it tastes so good.  I don’t believe in reading tea leaves, but some hot tea just taught me a valuable lesson after I spilled it all over myself. I did something dumb that resulted in my hand and leg being burned. Yes, I yelled “OW!!!!!” I cleaned up the tea, then I ran cold water on my wounds. Do you know what I did next? I got another cup of tea. I sat down in the same spot at the same table and drank hot tea. Then, a thought occurred to me. Why didn’t I say to myself, “I’m not drinking anymore tea? I might spill it again. It could be worse next time. I don’t want to experience that pain ever again”? If I quickly got another cup of tea after being painfully burned, why do I avoid other activities after I get wounded from doing them? I have actually denied myself the pleasure of doing what I like to do because of wounds I have sustained. I have actually said to myself after a negative experience, “Well, I’m done with that”, or “I won’t try that again”. Why did I say that? If I can risk burning my leg, I can risk getting my feelings hurt or my heart broken right? On the whole, what is the real difference between life and tea? Nothing!!!! Have another cup. Don’t mind if I do.


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Bus Ride

I still remember the day when the reality of God’s love finally sank into me. I changed that day. I was on a bus on the way home. The ride was extra long because I missed the other bus. During that long ride, God spoke to me about His love. I just suddenly understood. It was as if liquid healing flooded my heart. I felt myself accept the fullness of His compassion for me. I realized that no matter what, God would always love me. I could not do anything to make Him stop. That day, I let His love drown out every fear and every doubt. I let Him hold me completely. God’s love can heal what nothing else can. God is so personal with me. He knows me yesterday. He knows me today. He knows what I’m thinking and why I’m thinking it. There was a lot of pain and abuse that led me to be the way I was when God found me, but would you believe that I now thank God for that pain? I thank Him for those struggles because now I know Him. Not only that, I have a testimony. I constantly think about who I used to be and who I am today. I still need a lot of work, but I’ve come further than I thought I could. It took God about 7 years to get me to the point where I could say that I was sane and emotionally healthy. During that journey to wholeness, I really came to know God. I learned that He can be trusted. He loves unconditionally. Thank God, He’s not through though. I believe the best is yet to come. I have a destiny in Him that He decided before the world was.

Dear Jesus,

Thank You for loving me the way You do. There is nothing better than You. You are the reason that I live. I can’t live one moment without You and I don’t want to try.

Amen