captivesofhope

Finding renewal and hope

Tag Archives: Trials


by Leave a comment

Shaking the World

I have been in a hostile environment for these five months and I’d be lying if I said that it didn’t affect me because it has. I have been insulted, belittled, embarrassed, criticized, and bullied. This situation has challenged my self-image, my peace, my joy, and my faith. I have had some very rough days, but God has sustained me. The scripture that summarizes my experience is, “And this word, Yet once more, signifieth the removing of those things that are shaken, as of things that are made, that those things which cannot be shaken may remain” (Hebrews 12: 27). In this scripture God talks about shaking the earth and Heaven so that the shaken things can be removed. Those things that cannot be shaken, cannot be removed. God has shaken my world during these months. I have had to decide if I really believe what I say I do. Do I really believe that God is going to keep His promises? Do I even believe that God made the promises? Am I an overcomer or am I a coward? Do I believe that I can walk on water if Jesus bids me come? Do I believe that I hear from God or am I fooling myself? All these questions had to
be answered before I could move forward. Many things have fallen away. I have seen a lot of things removed from my life. Some things were more painful than others. Now, all that is left is me and God. The real me and the real God. You know what? I like what I see. I feel like I made it. I did not do it perfectly, but I am still standing. I had to cry and I had to pray. I had to worship God with trembling lips and a teary face, but I worshiped Him. I had to groan and struggle and ask questions. I had to have others pray for me and with me. Some days were better than others, but I am still alive and I still love God. What’s more, my relationship with Him is deeper than it was before. It is easier to trust Him. I feel lighter because God removed the things that were weighing me down. Now it’s time to step off into destiny.


by Leave a comment

Precious Pain

When I gave my life to God, everything fell apart. My marriage collapsed, I dropped out of school though I had a full scholarship, I had a nervous breakdown and depression tried to ruin my life. I can assure you that I was not having fun during this time, but what I was doing was growing. I was learning to trust God with everything. Some days I thought the pain would kill me, but God commanded even my lungs to breathe because I lacked the strength. I found a place in God where pain ceased to exist. At times, I almost thought the world was gone because I was so deep into Him. During worship times at church, I got so lost in His presence, so lost in fact that I had someone ask me, “where do you go during worship?” I didn’t know what it was called then. Now I refer to it as the secret place. The devil couldn’t find me there. Fear couldn’t find me there. Failure and depression couldn’t find me there. I was covered by the shadow of His wings.

And now, when God uses me, there is a foundation underneath me. I have fought and won in Jesus’ name. I have a platform of experience to speak from. God has repaired my marriage. As a matter of fact, as I stood at the altar weeping about God’s will for this blog, my husband came over, put his arms around me and began to wipe my tears away. It was so worth the struggle so that I can watch God dust off the diamond I married. I also have a Bachelor’s degree having graduated with a 4.0 average. I am months away from a Master’s degree also with a 4.0 average. My mind is stable (though some might debate this J). I found Him who has promised to be faithful.

Can I invite you to remember something God has promised you? Write it down so that when He does it, you will have a record. Also, write down the promises that God has already fulfilled. This is your proof of His faithfulness. It is not that we want to doubt, we just forget to believe. So remember Jesus today. Meditate on His words to you. Believe them. I am a witness to His ability to bring every word to pass. Hebrews 10: 35-38 declares, “For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised. For, Yet a little while, and the coming one will come and will not delay; but my righteous one shall live by faith…” (English Standard Version)